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The top 7 reasons I encourage my son to be an actor

There was an article on Backstage recently written by a casting director “5 Reasons I Won’t Discourage My Daughter From Acting.” For those of you that are not in the industry, a casting director is the person you go see for an audition.  I have to say I commend this woman for this article. And not just because my son is an actor. Cathy Reinking has been a casting director for more than 20 years, so she is not a newby by any stretch. It’s a refreshing change to so much negative we see regarding acting – especially for a child actor.

What struck me was reading the comments below her post and one individual who makes the comment about how she’s never been an actor herself and doesn’t understand when others should be discouraged (gently of course) from getting in to this business.

I find this a narrow-minded view. I am not young by any stretch – and this business is not the only area I have seen this “opinion” and parents that say “I would NEVER let my child do _____ for a living.” Whether it be in sports, military, legal, health, teacher, social work…you get the picture. Ironically, these same parents are happy doing these jobs (most of the time) and they do them well, just as Cathy states in her article of the parents she’s met.  Why not encourage your child to do what it is they love to do?  And what is wrong if they choose to follow in your footsteps?  Why is it necessary to discourage ANYONE from going after their dream – regardless of what that dream is? (gently or otherwise?) Instead of assuming a child “can’t handle it” or “can’t stick it out” or “doesn’t have the talent” what exactly is the harm in explaining to them what it takes (at an age appropriate level of course), and letting them take classes, and go one step at a time to see if they want to delve farther in to what their interests are?

I got a dose of this myself when my son decided to audition for the part of Ryan in High School Musical Junior at the local Oz children’s theatre. I wanted to “protect him” from the disappointment that might come if he didn’t get the part.  It was his first audition.  I thought I was preparing him and told him to just realize he might not get the part. After all, I am the mom and I don’t want to see him crushed. After I had said this the second or third time, driving to the audition, from the back seat he said to me “please don’t say that.” And, still thinking I needed to “prepare him” I asked him why not.  His answer hit me like a ton of bricks. “Because I have faith in myself.”  He was 9 years old. I shut up. Even at 9 he spoke with more conviction than I have heard from many adults.  And he got the part.  The joy on his face when he performed on that stage put me in tears – not tears of pride because my son was on stage – but tears because I got to witness the pure joy on his face doing what he loves.

Since then I have not discouraged him from doing anything – as long as it is legal, of course.  It’s not my job to discourage my son and tell him all the negatives and all the reasons why he should not do what is his passion; it is my job as his mom to prepare him for the world and to do what he can to make it a better place. He will need to make many decisions as an adult when I am not there. Learning to make decisions for himself at a younger age teaches him what the consequences of his decisions are. The first time he had to miss a birthday party because he had play practice he was disappointed. When I explained to him that this is the price you pay to go after your dreams, he didn’t hesitate. He had made a commitment to attend play practices according to the schedule, and Darla was strict about not missing play practice (as she should be). I asked him if he’d rather continue doing plays, or stop doing them so he could go to birthday parties like this (a question I ask continually when something like this comes up).  His answer? Well – duh – look at where we are. It was a great feeling for him (and me) when he had friends whose moms then began contacting me wanting to know what his schedule was so they could schedule their birthday parties around his play practice.

So here are my top seven reasons I encourage my child to be an actor;

1. Because it is his choice, his passion
2. Because of the sheer joy I see emanate from him when he is on stage, or on a set filming, and especially after the day is done
3. Because I can use it as leverage to ensure he gets good grades. (bad grades mean no more acting – and yes, he knows I will follow through because I always do)
4. Because his faith in himself is stronger than anyone – even me – discouraging him
5. Because of the life’s lessons he is learning while I can still give him guidance;

• Learning what work ethic is
• Learning that even when you are doing what you love, after being on set all day you can, will and do come home exhausted – and that’s how it is with any job – which is why it is important to do what you love
• Learning that there will be people that will only want to be his friend because he is an actor – now and in the future – and how to handle that
• Learning that it takes a team and effective communication to put together a great end-product
• Learning that even though he is only one team member, his contribution, as well as his lack of contribution can affect the end product
• Learning the importance of relationships with others (treating everyone with kindness but don’t let them walk all over you)
• Learning all about money, taxes, expenses, and tax returns
• Learning why what you get paid is not what your final check is – and figuring out the percentages of how much goes where and what happens with the rest
• Learning how to start a business from the ground up because that is what this is
• Learning to balance play time, school time, and work time and realize it is important to have interests outside of acting as well
• Learning that choices have consequences
• Learning that to go after a passion means sometimes making sacrifices in order for it to happen – and that’s ok

6. Because by encouraging my son to go after HIS passion – I have watched him grow more than I ever thought possible
7. Because he has taught me what having faith in yourself means

Who am I to stop him?