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Well, it is official.  We found out this last week that the pilot Cody auditioned for, Prodigy Bully, did not get picked up to series.  Surprisingly we are not too disappointed – except for the fact that we won’t get to work daily with such a great cast and crew.  I’ve had a couple of people make comments about how “heart-breaking” this must be for us, but it’s not—at least not for us.  This is a part of the business, and we are fully aware that in filming a pilot it may not be picked up to series.  The old adage “smile because it happened, don’t cry because it’s over” holds true here.

The positives I see in this;

1.   We made many new friends that I am sure we’ll have the opportunity to see again.  Some we shared contact info and we’ll still keep in touch.

2.   I still got feedback that my son did fantastic, and that he is a great actor and wonderful to work with – validation from industry professionals that we must be doing something right – as parents, and as the kid/actor involved.

3.   I learned more about filling out the tax forms (even though I know this part well due to my own experience, I goofed by putting ZERO exemptions on his W-4 form.  Don’t do that.  They took 50% in taxes.  I don’t like getting large returns at the end of the year…so now I have to adjust accordingly – the plus – each job you fill out a new W-4 for the job).

4.   Because of this, he is now SAG-AFTRA Union.  He can no longer do non-union work however, I am not seeing a downside to this.  Being Union you are offered more protections as an actor.  I am still learning all of the benefits, and have much reading to do.  I’ve seen many breakdowns that have said “will not hire must-join, must be non-union or full union” so now there’s no concern of the “in-between stage” any more.

5.   He’s now auditioning for more pilots (while major network pilot season is Jan-Mar, all the other networks start them whenever they feel like it – year-round).

6.   He got to learn how to ride a horse for the show!

7.  He learned some basics about stunts

8.   I learned more about how the entire process works.  Each time there are new things to learn.  It seems that even each network will run things differently

9.   Auditions continue as always – which means the casting directors still think he’s good enough to bring in to audition.  This also means – there’s no time to be bummed!

                 There was another pilot, Malibu Country, that wanted him to test too. We found out over a 2-day period that both wanted him to test.  Since he tested and booked Prodigy Bully before Malibu Country did their testing, he didn’t test for them.  Well, Malibu Country got picked up…in fact, we know the kids that booked that will be playing Reba’s children.  AND, the part that he auditioned for…got cut before the pilot went to filming.  I am SO happy for the kids that booked it, and their parents, too.  I honestly think it happened to exactly the right kids.  They are great actors, and very down-to-earth kids.  Watch the show – it is hysterical – we got to watch the pilot being filmed, and if I can, I will watch every episode during filming.  *Testing means that choices are down to the last 2-4 for the parts, and contracts are signed committing to the series along with the terms.  When they go in to test, paperwork has to be signed before they are allowed in the audition room.

                Cody is continuing to audition for other projects, feature films, TV guest roles, and pilots.  Since filming Prodigy Bully he booked his first print job, as well as a new Comedy Central Show called Mash-Up.  He got to work with Pete Holmes on that one – another great experience with such a light-hearted cast and crew—but then it IS all about the comedy!  It’s not often that a person gets paid to be a goof-ball.

On set of Mash-Up with Pete Holmes

                I do have to admit, I was initially concerned that he would be upset that Prodigy Bully did not get picked up to series, but then I guess he does listen to me.  I always believe there is a reason for everything, and that this just makes room for something bigger and better even if we don’t know/see it now; apparently that attitude has rubbed off on him.  He shrugged his shoulders and said “when’s the next audition?”  Which is good, because in the next 24 hours he got THREE!

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One thing I have found out since getting my son in this business, is the great resources and networking that is available.  This has been a nice surprise since it is not something I expected when we first began our journey in to film and television acting.  One of those resources I discovered is the Hollywood Mom Blog; and as a result, I also contribute to her blog.  But it’s SO competitive gives a different look on booking a role.

Enjoy and feel free to comment!

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I find that that now every time I watch a movie or a TV show and I see a kid on it, I wonder “Who IS that kid?” I never did this before having a kid in the business.  Sometimes I wonder if it makes me a nut that I now want to know “more” about who I am seeing on TV.  One thing I do like, though, is that I can go to the Internet Movie Data Base and look up the TV show or movie, and usually find out who is in it, and then find out what other projects they have done.  I find this helpful when I see a face that looks familiar but I cannot remember from where – so now I no longer have to wake up at 2 a.m. and say “NOW I REMEMBER!” before I go back to sleep!

Let me sleep!

I do like that I have a place to search information on projects now.  IMDB, while it is a subsidiary of Amazon, is a great resource for checking out projects Cody is auditioning for as well as producers, directors, casting directors, and even agents and managers.  I never thought I would become so familiar with a website!   When I did start using it, I found interesting that these “sudden overnight sensations” had been in the business for years and had many projects on their resume.  Most actors and actresses are not like Lana Turner, who was “discovered” while sitting at an ice cream counter in a drug store.  Those are few and far between.  Most actors are busting their behinds doing what they love, the fame, from what I am seeing, is secondary.

Please share if you have any resources you use to check out projects!

 

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Resources Resources Resources!

I have not been a “momager” for very long.  Cody decided he wanted to be an actor when he was 8, and did local theatre productions for a few years until my husband and I realized he was serious and he continued to push for more; he wanted to do television and film, too.  So when he was 11, just two years ago, we made our first trek to Los Angeles.  My ONLY experience in LA was LAX passing through on my way to and from The Republic of the Philippines when I was stationed there in the ‘80s.  Not much to go on there!

I did as much research as I could prior to arriving in Los Angeles, and did not personally know anyone with a child actor at the time that could help me.  Cody had two fantastic people that helped him get started in Florida, the director of the theatre group he was in, Darla, and Ann Marie, now an agent.  Both taught him what they knew, and gave him a fantastic foundation, however, in the part of Florida we were in (The Panhandle), at the time they were the only acting coaches available to prepare actors—and they are only two people.  As he continued to ask for more classes, more training, we chose to head to Los Angeles and see what would happen.  Darla and Ann Marie prepared Cody well to get in front of Los Angeles casting directors, agents and managers.  It is comforting to look back now and know they helped him prepare a good foundation.  Not everyone has good experiences.  I don’t know anyone personally, but have seen the articles of people paying a “company” thousands of dollars (well over $10,000) to supposedly “guarantee” their child a part on their own show, or with top agencies.  Some companies have been exposed as frauds. Yes, there have been costs to getting my son in this industry, but you have to remember, there are NO guarantees.  If it sound too good to be true, it is.

I will be honest; it is not necessary to get in to one of these “events” to get your child “in” to show business.  And if you meet an agent or manager that says “well, in order to represent your child, you will need to pay me $XX first.”  That’s bogus.  A reputable agent or manager gets paid when your child gets paid.  There are NO upfront costs to get representation.  One cost you will have – to get headshots.  These are your child’s calling card.

So enough time has passed, your child has done local acting work, whether local commercials, plays, student film and is pushing for more.  Hopefully you have at least a few people in your corner to get you started.  Even though Darla and Ann Marie were a HUGE help to me, and always available to answer my many questions, too much information is like a firehose.  It takes time to process it and learn what works best for you.

I am an avid researcher, and for this reason love the fact that I can use the internet for so many things.  I did a lot of research prior to our first visit which helped make a bumpy ride a bit smoother.

So what resources can you check out for yourself and learn about?  Here goes!  Granted these are only a few, and do not seem like a lot, but each of these have a plethora of information.  With these links it may feel like a firehose initially, but bookmark the links and check out as you digest the information;

www.bizparentz.org (a non-profit website advocating for children’s rights in the entertainment industry) This is an excellent site not only when starting out, but as you navigate this industry.

www.sag.org
www.aftra.org
(these two have merged, the websites have not as of yet; there are changes in the process, so just be aware of this.)  Keep in mind that your child will need to do at least one union job before they are able to join the union.  Agents and Managers say to stay non-union as long as you can because once you are union, you cannot do non-union work.  On the flip side, rules are different in different states.  If you have specific questions, it’s best to call one of the contact numbers on their website.  It seems everyone’s situation is different, so it’s often best to get the word from the horse’s mouth! 🙂

www.hollywoodmomblog.com  a great resource for classes, as well as a plethora of other information.  This is run by mom of a child actor.  She can also be found on twitter and facebook.

http://networkedblogs.com/w0Puy   this is a list of places to take classes in Los Angeles.  This list is off The Hollywood Mom Blog.

Actor Training in LA is a great place for classes, coaching, and workshops

ActorsWest another great place for classes, coaching, and workshops

Actorsite is another great place for classes, coaching and workshops

http://forums.delphiforums.com/proactors  you will need to sign up for a free account here; shorthand this site is called PARF (Professional Actors Resource Forum).  I get information overload on this one so don’t browse it often.

This is a start regarding acting specifically.  Deciding to go to a larger market with your child is a big decision.  By doing your research on costs, budgeting, and what is necessary, making a trip might be the best way to go.  I recently watched a video regarding parents that paid $20,000 at an “industry event” where they were “guaranteed” their child would become a star.  I see numbers like that and I am one to look at how better my money can be spent.  With that kind of money, you can get a temporary place in LA for six months – giving your child time to get an agent and/or manager, go out on multiple auditions, as well as get in to classes, workshops and coaching.  Yes you will need to budget – but I for one, knows from experience that it can happen.

Remember that even though your child really wants this, and you want to help him or her follow their dream, it is still a business.  The challenge for you as the parent is to remain the parent, make decisions in the best interest of your child, and run a business.

Does this raise more questions?  If it does, great!  Ask away!  I will do my best to answer based on my experiences.

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Maybe the better question is “How do I know if this is just a phase (or not) that my kid is going through? What is involved?

Well, the ultimate answer…you don’t. Think of it this way, how do you know it’s a good idea to get your son or daughter in to football, piano, guitar, soccer, tae kwon do, or any other activity? You start by getting them lessons, or trying out for the football or soccer team.

When he was in 3rd grade, my son brought home a flyer from school advertising the Oz local children’s community theater. He said he wanted to be in the play “Oliver” that fall.

Cody's first production, Oliver!

In first grade, he had played football for a season. He wanted to quit before the season was over (it’s too hard to play football when you’re busy flirting with the cheerleaders!) So imagine my hesitation that he would quit this before it was done. He wasn’t allowed to quit the football season in the middle, and I made sure he realized he would have to have the same commitment with this new activity.

I’d always thought he would be great in theater or acting because he was melodramatic over even the smallest things by the time he was 2! But I didn’t want to push him, either.

The good thing about how Darla does her productions, she allows for a six week “training” class, teaching the kids (in their eyes it’s playing) about performing on stage.

After six weeks she does a showcase, where parents can come and watch the kids “showcase” what they’ve done in the last six weeks. At this point, they make the decision to commit fully to be a part of this production she puts on, but she also lets kids and parents alike know what this means. Doing a play is a commitment. You can’t just show up when you feel like it. You are a part of the team, and everyone is needed to make sure everything runs smoothly. It can be time intensive, too.

When it got to “production week” (rehearsals every night prior to opening night), my son informed me that he wanted to be an actor. He was definitely more committed to doing this that football!

Ann Marie has also been a big help. She’s an acting coach and talent agent in our little area of Northwest Florida. She also teaches classes in blocks; more for models and film/tv actors than theater.

If you live anywhere else, it’s just a matter of doing some research to find out what your town offers.

Before my son told me he wanted to be an actor, I thought him doing that first play (Oliver!) was a great idea for so many reasons. This teaches him about teamwork, and how important it is to be a part of something bigger than him. It teaches him how to give it his all, in front of a crowd, and how much goes on behind the scenes to put on a successful play.

I didn’t know at first if it was a good idea to get him in to this, but getting the feedback from Darla (at first–he did five plays with her…then we met Ann Marie) was VERY helpful.

Things that I noticed before Oliver! was finished. My son’s grades started improving. He didn’t argue with me on getting his schoolwork done. His self-confidence increased, too. He always spoke so quietly (except when he was outside with his friends!) but once he was taught how to “speak up and project!” he wasn’t so quiet (although we still deal with this on occasion).

Just like with football, soccer, piano, guitar, drum or tae kwon do lessons; you try it for a while, and see how they do.  They’re your kids, they will let you know if they want to continue or not.  If not, don’t push it.

It has been interesting being out here in Los Angeles in that casting directors to point out to parents, “make sure it’s your kid that wants to do this and not you.”  In this world, when a kid comes in for an audition, and they don’t want to be there, they are not having fun or would rather be at their best friend’s birthday party, then you are wasting your time, and everyone else’s time.  The casting director won’t give someone a callback (a chance to work on the TV show or film) who doesn’t want to be there–because there are so many others that DO want to be there.  So why waste your time?

On the other hand, if you’ve got a child that keeps bugging you, and the feedback you get from the teacher(s) you get is positive and you start wondering what’s next?  You take it one step at a time.  You do research, you ask questions, and follow up.  And keep asking them if they are serious…

My son’s ultimate goal is to be in a movie with Zac Efron and Jim Carrey, directed by Ron Howard.  This is an awesome goal, and everyone should have goals.  Keep in mind, though, that being an actor of any sort takes time, and a lot of work.  Yes, Lana Turner was discovered while sitting at a soda fountain eating ice cream, but the majority of “overnight successes” that you see have been at their chosen profession for years.  It’s the same with singers, actors, performers of any kind.  As an example, if you go to http://www.imdb.com and search on your favorite actor’s name, you’ll see a history of the projects they’ve worked on (whether they are projects you have heard of or not.)

My son is just starting in this business and his page on imdb is http://www.imdb.me/codysullivan.  While he’s worked on five total projects since March, currently only one is on imdb.

But if you look at Ron Howard’s page at

http://pro.imdb.com/name/nm0000165/

you see his long history (granted, we all know he started in this business at age 4, but it shows how much goes on this page).

If you have a favorite actor, or one you see a lot, http://www.imdb.com is a great place to go look to see what that actor has done, and how many projects he or she has worked on before they “made it big.”  This is not meant to discourage you or your child, but to make you realize that “overnight sensations” are rare.

Bottom line?  It is a commitment at any level.  If you don’t know how serious your child is, take in to consideration all your factors.  Everyone has work considerations, as well as family considerations.  It’s a family decision at any level, and the support needs to be there.  Just like with soccer, football, tae kwon do, piano, or any other activity.

If you have comments or questions, feel free to join in the discussions!

Valerie

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The top 7 reasons I encourage my son to be an actor

There was an article on Backstage recently written by a casting director “5 Reasons I Won’t Discourage My Daughter From Acting.” For those of you that are not in the industry, a casting director is the person you go see for an audition.  I have to say I commend this woman for this article. And not just because my son is an actor. Cathy Reinking has been a casting director for more than 20 years, so she is not a newby by any stretch. It’s a refreshing change to so much negative we see regarding acting – especially for a child actor.

What struck me was reading the comments below her post and one individual who makes the comment about how she’s never been an actor herself and doesn’t understand when others should be discouraged (gently of course) from getting in to this business.

I find this a narrow-minded view. I am not young by any stretch – and this business is not the only area I have seen this “opinion” and parents that say “I would NEVER let my child do _____ for a living.” Whether it be in sports, military, legal, health, teacher, social work…you get the picture. Ironically, these same parents are happy doing these jobs (most of the time) and they do them well, just as Cathy states in her article of the parents she’s met.  Why not encourage your child to do what it is they love to do?  And what is wrong if they choose to follow in your footsteps?  Why is it necessary to discourage ANYONE from going after their dream – regardless of what that dream is? (gently or otherwise?) Instead of assuming a child “can’t handle it” or “can’t stick it out” or “doesn’t have the talent” what exactly is the harm in explaining to them what it takes (at an age appropriate level of course), and letting them take classes, and go one step at a time to see if they want to delve farther in to what their interests are?

I got a dose of this myself when my son decided to audition for the part of Ryan in High School Musical Junior at the local Oz children’s theatre. I wanted to “protect him” from the disappointment that might come if he didn’t get the part.  It was his first audition.  I thought I was preparing him and told him to just realize he might not get the part. After all, I am the mom and I don’t want to see him crushed. After I had said this the second or third time, driving to the audition, from the back seat he said to me “please don’t say that.” And, still thinking I needed to “prepare him” I asked him why not.  His answer hit me like a ton of bricks. “Because I have faith in myself.”  He was 9 years old. I shut up. Even at 9 he spoke with more conviction than I have heard from many adults.  And he got the part.  The joy on his face when he performed on that stage put me in tears – not tears of pride because my son was on stage – but tears because I got to witness the pure joy on his face doing what he loves.

Since then I have not discouraged him from doing anything – as long as it is legal, of course.  It’s not my job to discourage my son and tell him all the negatives and all the reasons why he should not do what is his passion; it is my job as his mom to prepare him for the world and to do what he can to make it a better place. He will need to make many decisions as an adult when I am not there. Learning to make decisions for himself at a younger age teaches him what the consequences of his decisions are. The first time he had to miss a birthday party because he had play practice he was disappointed. When I explained to him that this is the price you pay to go after your dreams, he didn’t hesitate. He had made a commitment to attend play practices according to the schedule, and Darla was strict about not missing play practice (as she should be). I asked him if he’d rather continue doing plays, or stop doing them so he could go to birthday parties like this (a question I ask continually when something like this comes up).  His answer? Well – duh – look at where we are. It was a great feeling for him (and me) when he had friends whose moms then began contacting me wanting to know what his schedule was so they could schedule their birthday parties around his play practice.

So here are my top seven reasons I encourage my child to be an actor;

1. Because it is his choice, his passion
2. Because of the sheer joy I see emanate from him when he is on stage, or on a set filming, and especially after the day is done
3. Because I can use it as leverage to ensure he gets good grades. (bad grades mean no more acting – and yes, he knows I will follow through because I always do)
4. Because his faith in himself is stronger than anyone – even me – discouraging him
5. Because of the life’s lessons he is learning while I can still give him guidance;

• Learning what work ethic is
• Learning that even when you are doing what you love, after being on set all day you can, will and do come home exhausted – and that’s how it is with any job – which is why it is important to do what you love
• Learning that there will be people that will only want to be his friend because he is an actor – now and in the future – and how to handle that
• Learning that it takes a team and effective communication to put together a great end-product
• Learning that even though he is only one team member, his contribution, as well as his lack of contribution can affect the end product
• Learning the importance of relationships with others (treating everyone with kindness but don’t let them walk all over you)
• Learning all about money, taxes, expenses, and tax returns
• Learning why what you get paid is not what your final check is – and figuring out the percentages of how much goes where and what happens with the rest
• Learning how to start a business from the ground up because that is what this is
• Learning to balance play time, school time, and work time and realize it is important to have interests outside of acting as well
• Learning that choices have consequences
• Learning that to go after a passion means sometimes making sacrifices in order for it to happen – and that’s ok

6. Because by encouraging my son to go after HIS passion – I have watched him grow more than I ever thought possible
7. Because he has taught me what having faith in yourself means

Who am I to stop him?

 

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Hang on for the ride!

     After twenty plus years in the military, it gets drilled in to you that if you are 15 minutes early, you’re late.  In more than four years of cross-country commuting and running to auditions, some six hours away, not once did I get my son late to an audition.  Even on the day that he had three auditions; so in four hours we went from downtown LA to Santa Monica to Burbank.  Or the day he had two auditions that were 15 minutes apart across town from each other.  Still not sure how we managed that other than “good representation” that helps smooth things over but still got there before his scheduled times.  As a rule, I have learned in LA traffic to double the amount of time it is “supposed” to take to get to an audition, and then add 20 minutes for parking and getting in the door.  It’s worked well.  Except this one time…. (at band camp) ….

     SO, Cody has an audition in the afternoon and gets coaching in the morning as his coach is booked later in the day.  He also has just that week started algebra and had been frustrated at 4 attempts for one assignment, so I decided to become his tutor.  After all, I am a college graduate.  I did get good grades in Algebra in high school.  Except….it’s been a few decades years.  SO, it’s kind of like both of us stumbling in the dark.  The joys of home-schooling with an on-line program!  While he is appreciative, he’s still frustrated because of course an on-line course does not show you what you did wrong.  In hindsight, the probably was not the best day to start doing this….

     SO, audition is at 4:00 in Santa Monica in an area/building we have been before so I know the parking situation on the street behind the building where we need to be.  Or so I thought.  We leave at 3:00 (later I realized that my math be-fuddled brain was so messed up that I mis-calculated – we should have left at 2:30, but then I couldn’t share this story!), and of course the traffic is worse than usual.  We show up in the area to park (mind you, the breakdown also says “we do not validate at the nearby garage, there is parking available in the surrounding neighborhoods and parking meters on side streets). WELL, the HUGE parking lot that is behind these set of buildings is now under construction and the ONE STREET that ALWAYS has parking – one side there are NO available spaces (although if people parked right there would have been a few), the other side of this same street and ALL the neighborhoods have “permit parking only” otherwise no parking allowed. The parking on the street with meters…no parking from 3-5pm! WTF!?  So I drive around for 30 minutes LEARNING all this shit crap and not a single legal parking space. I ask Cody to pull out the breakdown to read the details that maybe I missed. He discovers he does not have his headshot folder, which also has the printed breakdown…and sides. Well double-crap.  It’s too late to drive back to get headshots…and you NEVER show up at an audition without a headshot….I suggest calling his manager about the time that I decide to park in un-validated garage, however, I forget that the entrance is on the side street that I had already passed and not on the main drag, and of course the FIRST right turn to go back around is a half mile away (which seems like 10 miles when you’re in a hurry). Cody asks his manager what he should do since he forgot his headshot….well….some good-natured heckling happened here.  It is already after 4:00 so, he’s late.  No getting around it.  We pull in to the parking garage and the valet says we can park “over there” but could get charged $20. Cheaper than a $60+ parking ticket – and after 3 I can’t afford another one. At 4:10 we walk in to the lobby of the building where the sign-in is at. Cody signs in and I sit down – my brain still befuddled and wondering what the $#>! just happened. We sign the non-disclosure agreement (NDA) and the casting director (CD) takes Cody and 2 other boys upstairs together to the audition room.

     

     After the audition, Cody gives me the low-down. Fortunately they had a set of sides next to sign-in, so he used those. He said he handed the CD the NDA, and said “here’s the NDA, and I don’t have a headshot because it’s been one of THOSE days” and the CD laughs and says she totally understands. He says he has seen this CD before so they know him and his work. They did tell him they were very happy with his performance and how professional he was. And they proceeded to ask him if he would be ok if they dyed his hair. He tells them “I don’t care, it’s just hair” (HA – he made a rhyme!  Gotta find the humor somewhere here!)

     On the way back to the parking garage (which ended up costing only $6….I could have saved $20 in gas driving around for 30 minutes!) we decide to go to the nearest Starbucks and just chill for a little bit because we are going to have to deal with this traffic going back. And since we know how accurate googlemaps is, we pull it up on the phone, AND the gps (I like to follow the pink line), and proceed to head to starbucks…and as we arrive at the location….no such Starbucks to be seen. OK – let’s just go home then. SOOOOOO, once again because googlemaps is SO informative and shows traffic, I reach for my phone so that he can bring up the route and see if we can at least go a direction that is less congested (like that’s even possible in LA?)….no phone. I reach under BOTH legs (I usually keep it under my right one, sticking out, so that I can grab it quickly if needed.) No phone, I even reached between my legs….Cody asks if it is on silent (no – as we had just had the discussion after the audition about my noises sounding like a clown car), and proceeds to call it. No ringing–it goes to voicemail; he takes everything out of my purse he calls my Mary Poppins bag, no dice.  He looks all over on the floor. I am of course thinking WTF?! Yet again, and how the hell could I have LOST MY PHONE when I SWEAR I had it in my hand getting IN the car. SO I pull off to a side street where I have to go 3 blocks to find a safe place to pull over….and proceed to get out….the phone was UNDER MY ASS (my husband had a field day with THAT). No missed call. UGH. I said many choice words – yes – a complete long run-on sentence of nothing but profanity came out of my mouth quite loudly and Cody looks at me big-eyed and in all seriousness says “you sound just like aunt Diane.”  I looked at him and said “where do you think I learned it?”  What on EARTH IS it with this ENTIRE day?!  It was funny, but not.

     BACK in the vehicle I get and we head home. In spite of all this we are both in good spirits. Because he is now taking psychology, he is sharing with me that there is something to be learned from this, so we proceed to analyze the events of the past two hours. Coming to Santa Monica we need to leave 15 minutes earlier (ya think?!). The parking fiasco – that changed since the last time we were there and of course we did not know that. What he said he got out of it – don’t take anything for granted, and don’t take yourself or life, too seriously (not like we’re gonna get out of it alive anyway!). I told him he handled himself well and as professionally as he could considering the circumstances. It didn’t do any good to get angry or frustrated (I believe it was short-lived on both our parts as neither of us snapped at each other over it–we just both kind of laughed through it – befuddled). He didn’t beat himself up over it too much before going in to the audition, and obviously did well as he usually does. It is nice to see that the CDs know his work. 

     SO, two hours later we are home, relaxing, eating dinner and his manager calls. He says they put a pin in Cody…then pulled it out. (this means that they are one of the final picks but haven’t completely decided yet). When Cody books, it has ALWAYS been his manager AND agent on the phone to congratulate him when he books…it was only his manager this time and so in my brain I am thinking “ok, he didn’t book, so why is he calling and telling us they put a pin in him and then pulled it out?” As my brain fizzles some more he continues….HE BOOKED!!!! This was for an episode of Revolution as young Calvin Horn titled “Come Blow Your Horn” which first aired in November.  Oh – and he’ll be done with 9th Grade Algebra in the next couple of weeks.  He’s got an A so far…

 

To see what else Cody has been working on, you can follow his fanpage on Facebook or check out his imdb page.

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               I haven’t written in this blog for more than a year.  It has been a busy one in a multitude of ways – of course life is always busy.  All I can say is that I was beyond overwhelmed.  It seems the dust has settled at least to some extent – for now!  Haha.  One promise I made to myself was that after the dust settled, I wanted to make a plan to write in this blog more and come up with some sort of plan/organization to continue to post – instead of “when I feel like it” – because THAT has obviously been working so wonderfully.

               Before I completely get back in to this, though, I wanted to spend the time in this post and talk about the women in my life and getting even.  Most of the women in my life know my past, but for those that don’t, I will do my best to give an abbreviated version—so bear with me.  The first woman in my life, like everyone else, was my mother.   I was her fourth daughter – born a number of years after the older three – so as they hit their teens I watched how she treated them.  As the youngest, for the first 11 years of my life it is like I was the favorite – and I don’t doubt I was…just ask my sisters.  This is a woman that truly should not have had children.  She kicked all three of my sisters out of the house for different reasons – while I was much younger and did not know all the details, I knew enough and learned enough to know something was just not right.  I don’t know if she had a mental illness that she needed medical care for, or if she was just a narcisstic bitch.  Before I turned 16, I watched all three of my sisters get kicked out of the house and out of MY life (and two of them chose to come visit me at school during the school year because THEY were still trying to have me in their lives – something I am thankful for), and I watched as all three came back in to “her graces” and once again I watched her antics and the drama she created – and poof – once again – all three of them were booted out of her life – yet again.  I swore if she ever kicked me out of her life, I wasn’t going back to deal with all THAT crap.  Well….that day came two months before my sixteenth birthday.  Thank goodness in a sane moment she had married a man that became my step-dad – and always was and is “Dad” to me.  In 1980 step-parent adoptions during divorce were unheard of.  But he did what he could.  We tried counseling numerous times and the counselor always shook her head at the things that would come out of my mother’s mouth.  I sent her an announcement for my high school graduation (not an invite – just the announcement – I did not want her there, but I did want her to know I DID graduate – as she was sure I was too stupid to accomplish this).  I received a card from her telling me congratulations on my graduation, but she would be vacationing in Arizona during that time so wouldn’t be able to make it.  OK.  I tried one last time to connect with her a month before I left for Air Force basic training – in a drunk moment I called her thinking that MAYBE we could have an adult conversation and maybe start an adult relationship.   I realized how wrong I was when she told me I would never make it through basic training and would never amount to anything.  While I left for basic training with a clear conscience for having tried, it did affect all my relationships for a while.  I honestly thought that I was just like her – and that ANYONE that liked me liked her and I didn’t want ANYTHING to do with ANYONE that liked her.

               Years later (after a 20 year career in the AF), I reconnected with a cousin and found out she had not changed a bit.  There was a point when his mother (her brother’s wife) called my mother early in the morning – she needed to get to the emergency room – she didn’t know what was happening to her.  Instead of calling her kids who were all getting ready to head to work and dealing with their own kids, she decided to call my mother and see if she could get her there – she didn’t live very far away.  Guess what – my mother told her no – she wasn’t taking her to the emergency room.  And she hung up on her.  WOW.  No explanation then, or after.  Ever.

               She passed away a few years ago of lung cancer – just before mother’s day.  My sister called and as we had always joked it would be “ding dong, the witch is dead” message when the call came.  I had forgotten about it.  She didn’t.  When the paperwork for the will came, every single one of her children were listed, with current addresses (never mind it had been 30 years since I’d spoken to her – and countless moves—longer for a couple others) and specifically excluded from her will.  None of us ever wanted any money from her, but she was ALWAYS concerned that we wanted her money.   Once again – something was not right here – none of us ever asked her for money or borrowed it from her, but you would think that was every conversation she had with any of us.  I could understand this if she was worth millions—but she never was and she didn’t leave much behind.  It’s like she was always trying to “get even” with those around her – even though people did not even remotely do what she accused them of.

               So what does this have to do about getting even with all the other women in my life?  Well, for years I was bitter that she had the gall to treat her kids so badly.  What mother does that?  My sister always said “it doesn’t cost anything to be nice – and she wasn’t nice.”  She’s right.  For years I tried figuring out why – and then realized that was a fruitless endeavor.  But even before she passed, I had long forgiven her – not to her face, but for my own peace.  I don’t know why she was like she was – she rarely shared childhood stories with us (I remember 2).   But in the forgiveness I learned many things because of the way SHE was.  I learned the way NOT to be a mother to my child.  It’s not necessary to be extremely punitive – which she was good at – nor is extreme permissiveness the answer.  It’s about finding a balance.

               The BIGGEST thing I can thank her for – maybe I needed to see HER behavior so that I could appreciate all the other women in my life, and learn to have the confidence in myself without her approval.  Today I received a Facebook message from a woman – her husband is a part of a mastermind group I am a part of.  He is the only guy in the group – and always talks about her in our meetings.  I have had only a couple of short conversations with her and then a few weeks ago she friended me.  I had been meaning to send her a note, but just had not had the chance – she beat me to it.  But what she sent me nearly put me in tears.  She told me that she had been praying daily for the last four years for me, my husband, and Cody and our journey as he builds his dreams.  That she had been meaning to friend me earlier and just now got around to it.  We have mutual friends and mutual interests – we just have not had the chance yet to spend more than a few minutes in conversation.  She asked if there was anything specific I would like her to pray for as she prays daily for people in her life.  To say I was astounded, shocked, honored – is an understatement.  For the last month I had been thinking about how best to write this blog and honor all the women in my life and her kindness triggered it.  What a contrast to what I grew up seeing and experiencing.

               As I go through and think about all these women; women that would die for their country, their children, other family members; women that raise other women’s children because they can’t for some reason; women that have dealt with sexual assault at too young of an age from people who were supposed to be protecting them; women that deal with their own children being bullied, or sexually assaulted; women who want to have children and can’t; women who couldn’t have children but still figured out how; women that deal with watching as their own children battle drug addiction and jail time; women that have dealt with their own addictions; women that remain strong while helping their own children through illnesses too numerous to mention; women that have had to bury their children too soon; women that still want to have dreams of their own while holding it all together; women that deal with scandals –  in their personal lives as well as work lives; women that deal with financial crisis and disasters; women that are or have dealt with the loneliness that comes from not having a loved one there anymore – either through death, break-up, or divorce; women that are battling their own illnesses; women dealing with job loss-whether their own or a spouse; women who deal with all the joys and frustrations of relationships with their significant others; women who are single moms – whether by choice or not; women that don’t think about how hard it is to continue on with life day to day, but just do it; women that still reach out to help other women even when they are dealing with any one or more of the above; women that still do go after their own ambitions and dreams amidst their own struggles; I can’t help but be amazed.

               All these women in my life have dealt with so much yet are always at the ready to help other women – not just me.  Maybe it has me in so much awe because I saw so little of it as a child.  It doesn’t matter.  I find that these women while dealing with their issues will give what time they can or have – whether it is only an hour or two – a small kindness to them – but something that means the world to me (or the woman they are helping).  So now it’s time for me to get even.  For the last year I dealt with so many changes in my life, and so much stress, I didn’t know which way to turn.  It was a realization that just a few hours of someone helping me, or talking through issues or ideas helped me tremendously to continue on.  I realized that while I had been “nicer” to others than my first role model, I really wasn’t reaching out to help like so many others have done to me through the years.  Or so it seems that I just don’t enough.  One way I have chosen to do that is writing this blog – and re-dedicating myself to more frequent posts.  Navigating this business of being the parent of a child actor is a challenge for any parent – and if I can help others by making it just a little bit less confusing, less stressful, I hope it helps.

               Another mom of child actors reached out to me recently – also from Florida.  We have had conversations in the past – of course they were in the midst of coming or going from classes or auditions – but she called to see about going to dinner.  And we did.  We’ll do it again, but it also made me realize I need to make the contacts too – I don’t need to wait for others to reach out to me.  All these women in my life just amaze me – every single one of you is precious to me in ways you may never know.  I have learned kindness in ways I never thought possible.   Every single one of you is an inspiration to me.

               While I have reached out to all the women in my life in this post, in case you haven’t noticed, I have not named a single one by name.  That is because every single one has been through multiple things on the list above and still forges on.  It’s not necessary as every one of you reading this will see yourself in that list and know it is about you.  It is also about those that cannot read this because they have passed.  Remember to be nice to yourself – you have been through a LOT and you deserve the kindness only you can give yourself.

               So I am back – and for all the women in my life – and the ones I have not yet met, this blog is dedicated to you and getting even with you.  I hope to bring you to tears – through making you laugh so hard you can’t keep it in.  You ROCK!

***about the picture: this is nowhere near the number of women in my life; these were the only pictures I could fit.***

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Yes, it has been a while since the last post – many things have happened over the last few months – vacation, family time, premiere (Hell and Mr. Fudge), auditions, bookings (Chicago Fire), DVD release (The Measure of a Man) and music album release (Elential).  Oh, and school for my son, as well as me working on my masters.  Life is busy and fun – you only live once!

I wanted to take the time in this post to address marketing your child actor;

What is marketing about?  Is it really necessary?  I mean really, think about it, either a child “has” acting talent, or not.  Right?   Shouldn’t agents, managers and casting directors be beating down your door to get your child on the big screen then?  Not if they don’t know anything about how talented your child is, and that all they want is to be on a set and in front of a camera.

Let’s back up just a bit – what about a doctor just out of med school.  He or she has done their residency.  Isn’t that enough to succeed?  Or how about a realtor?  If someone gets their realtor’s license to sell real estate, isn’t that enough to succeed?  Does that mean they don’t have to put forth any more effort, just because they have declared their profession, paid for school and licensing fees?  Kind of silly to think a doctor would have to market themselves, but that’s exactly what they do in order to gain experience.  They build their resume, no matter how small, and market to those companies or businesses they are interested in becoming a part of, and then they have to build their clientele.  As for a realtor, getting clients requires getting out and meeting people that want to buy or sell homes.  How you find them requires marketing yourself.

As a marketing major, and through training, workshops, and having run multiple businesses myself, one thing about marketing I have learned is that any campaign you do is only going to get a three percent response rate.  That’s right, for every 100 post cards you mail, it is “average” to get only three phone calls/responses from those (not purchases, signed clients, or bookings – just a response).  Anything more is bonus.  It does not matter if you sell real estate, widgets, gadget-of-the-year, or your child’s acting, having a marketing plan that increases that three percent to anything higher requires some kind of marketing strategy.  If you combine various campaigns, and do them continually, eventually your three percent will increase.  Eventually – remember, it is going to take time.  Just think of any major company that’s been around for a few years – they do various types of marketing and branding so that you remember their product.

So what type of a marketing plan should you have for a child actor?  Honestly, that is up to you as the parent.  The primary concern is most likely going to be how it is funded.  If your child is just starting out and hasn’t made any money, you will have to determine where those funds will come from.  If you have an idea of where to start, it will make the process less stressful.

So here’s the list – some of these will be common sense to most; it is not necessarily all-inclusive, if you have more ideas, please feel free comment and share below;

1.   Headshots/Resume – Headshots are a must for any actor – your child will need one for every audition they attend.  A resume, no matter how small, is also required.  Headshot photos can also be used in the rest of your campaign.  No glamour shots.  A child should look like themselves in the picture.

Cody’s Headshot

2.   Post cards – it is interesting to be a part of so many conversations where others say “post cards don’t work – most of them get thrown away anyway.”  Remember that three percent response rate?  I am marketing to the three percent that will respond versus that 97 percent that “might.”  To me, in this business, post cards are a cost effective way to let casting directors know what your child is doing.  I’ve seen it work – and when I send out post cards, activity levels increase (auditions as well as on-line activity).  They don’t have to be big or fancy.

The trick is to do them with a purpose – meaning there is a reason to send them – not just to say “Hi!”  or “Hire me!”

Reasons include:

• new headshots,
• new representation,
• booked,
• filmed/wrapped, or
• WATCH ME on ____ (fill in the blank).

If there is enough activity, every six weeks or so is sufficient.  When there was a “dry-spell” no post cards went out for about eight months.  However, as soon as there was something to send out, I increased my mailing list to add some new casting directors.  It  was a few months, but a booking came out of someone I added to the list.  I’m still not convinced they don’t work.

So how do you find the mailing lists?  Start with the auditions your child has already been on – add those to your list to keep updated.  Add any casting directors seen at workshops, classes, intensives, or events where you meet them.  If they say they don’t like post cards, ask for an email address.  LACasting, NowCasting, and CastingAbout all have casting director addresses.

What to put on a post card?  Of course picture(s) – this is another place you can use some of those headshot pictures.  Snapshots from filming (if production is ok with it).  Representation information.  What’s been booked, filmed, or needs to be watched (make sure to add network/channel & time if available).  Also, if you have it, a link to a website, imdb page, or fan page – add that.

Where do you get post cards done?  There are a plethora of services that can be used, you can pay someone to make them up for you, or you can do them yourself.  I use www.gotprint.com – mostly because I can go pick up the post cards in Burbank, but they do quality work as well, with a quick and affordable turn-around time.

3.   Headshot Drops – There are services where you give them 50-100 copies of headshots and resumes and they will drop them to the casting offices around town that are working on projects that pertain to your child’s age range.  At the end of the month, they will give you a list of the casting offices where they were dropped off.  You can also do this yourself if you have the time to do so.  You can ask about these anywhere they provide acting classes or casting director workshops.

4.   Social media – this would be a fan page on Facebook, or a Twitter account (or both).  If there are any credits on imdb, link all of them in to each other.  Updates on Twitter will show up on imdb just like they do on Facebook if you set them up that way.  Keeping people updated on activity, what’s going on, where and when to watch filmed projects and being interactive with those that comment are excellent ways to use your social media.  If you have a website, link them in as well.

5.   Agent/Manager  – yes, the agent/manager will submit and pitch your child, as they should.  Keeping them updated on your child is also a good idea so they are not forgotten.  Yes, they will know your child booked and filmed something since they are a part of the process, but they are also busy and may not remember when a movie is available, or a show is on TV to watch.  Also, letting them know of any training or projects your child has completed is a way to show they are working on their craft and really serious about it.

6.   Websites for casting projects;

• Actors Access (this is the biggest nationwide)
• LA Casting – this has commercials, shorts, films and tv shows
• The Casting Frontier – this is mostly for commercials

Disclaimer – this is not an all-inclusive list – I am not familiar with the NY market.  Also, while these are good and legitimate sites, agents and managers are the ones that will see the major breakdowns that the general public does not see on these sites.  If you do not have representation, you will be limited by what the general public is allowed to see and submit.

When your child books a project, you want to keep these sites updated with the most current information.  When you get clips of their work, add them as well.  You can add a reel, but remember that casting directors will stop watching after about 2 minutes.  I have chosen to add clips specific to a given project so that a casting director can look at a clip that pertains to what they are casting (comedy or dramatic).

7.   CD Workshops – these do cost money, but in my opinion worth the cost.  Actor Training in LA is one place that caters to children and casting directors that cast children.  We arrived in Los Angeles from an extremely small and limited market, and this was the quickest way to get in front of casting directors that weren’t necessarily casting for projects.  In fact, they are not allowed to have workshops just to find actors for current projects.  They will sit and answer questions for about 20 minutes, and then each child is taken is to an audition room where they go through a mock audition and get feedback and redirects.  In my opinion, this did wonders for my son because he quickly realized that casting directors really don’t bite, and that he was allowed to have fun and be himself in an audition.  I think these are wonderful because you do get feedback in the room, which will help your actor to maximize everyone’s time in an actual audition.

8.   Training – this falls under marketing in the sense that your child is taking the time to learn about being in front of the camera, learning techniques, and teaching the brain how to act, respond, and listen to the other actors.  This process is making them more marketable.  While the best training is actually doing, taking classes can increase their marketability.

9.   Keeping in touch – is exactly how it sounds.  When my son works on a project, I do my best to get mailing addresses or email addresses of the director, producers, etc.  Depending on the project, we may have contact info for everyone on the project.  When I send out post cards to casting directors, and emails to those that prefer email, I also email those from past projects to let them know what he is up to.  I don’t always get responses but that’s ok.  One booking he had, afterwards he direct-booked two more projects, and was called in to audition for two additional just from that first project.

10.   Showing appreciation – another one that is exactly how it sounds.  When he books a project, I make sure we thank the agents and manager for starters – which is the easy part—that usually starts right after “you booked”!  When the project finishes filming, my son writes Thank Yous to the directors, producers, casting director, and anyone else that was a major help through the process.  Some people send gifts as well depending on the size of the project.  Keep in mind, for tax purposes, you can only write off $25 for gifts per person per year.

If you have any other ideas or ways that you market your child actor, or additional resources to add, feel free to comment below.  I’ve learned most of this from other parents of child actors and discussions for pros and cons for all of them are quite interesting.  I look forward to reading your comments!

And I must add that credit here needs to be given to my husband for editing this for me before publishing it. 🙂

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WOW – it’s been a LONG time since the last post!  I need to work on this more!

Cody filmed as young Edward Fudge in Hell & Mr. Fudge in Athens, Alabama.  It was a fantastic cast and crew, and we got to meet the real Edward Fudge, his lovely wife, Sara, as well as other family members.  The film also has a fanpage on Facebook and is still in post-production.  He had a wonderful time and it was so wonderful to work with an awesome cast and crew.  The movie is scheduled to be released sometime in 2012.

This is one scene where he is imitating his father at the radio station.

SO—the short answer as to why I haven’t blogged in nearly a year…we’ve been busy!  Cody continues to have auditions; with school, auditions, callbacks, going home to Florida, vacation, spend time with family (and the dog!) and then getting settled back in Los Angeles for pilot season.  Cody quickly got new agency representation, and was going out for many pilots, as well as commercials, films and guest star roles on TV shows, and of course they all continue.  He also finished 7^th grade and is moving on to 8^th Grade soon.

The most exciting part?  We found out in a two day period he would test for two separate pilots.  He tested for Prodigy Bully first and booked it, therefore, could not test for the second one.  But what an awesome problem to have!  When he booked it, he was SO excited – as for me, it took three days for my head to stop buzzing. It is so neat to be so close on the sidelines watching him realize his dreams…and he’s only 13.

It is a surreal experience to watch movies and TV shows he auditioned for coming out now.  Green Lantern was his very first callback when we were still in Florida.  Last year was his first pilot season, and he tested for two pilots.  It was an exciting time, but two pilots he auditioned for (and did not test) were Touch and Once Upon a Time.  I love who they chose for the parts he went out for, and I think that they picked exactly the right person (not that my opinion matters in this!).  It is interesting to be able to see the choices that were made, and you realize how hard the casting directors work to get the right cast and do their part as a team to make this the best production possible.

The filming of Prodigy Bully happened over the last two weeks.  We will find out by the end of May if it gets picked up to series.  Filming was a fantastic and positive experience for Cody and he had SO much fun.  He was disappointed with one thing, though.  That it was over.  We made new friends, and he even said before it was done filming that it felt like being a part of a family.  Whether or not this goes to series, it’s been an exciting experience, and he has gotten to do exactly what he loves best – be on a set acting.

In the midst of all of this, I have met many parents new to the business and unsure where to go next–or just where to start!  When I start sharing what I have learned, I realize how much I have learned in just two short years. There is a LOT I did not know before arriving in LA the first time, but I have since found many resources I will share in my next post so the information is not buried in this one.  So stay tuned!

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I cannot believe it is already the end of May!  Cody has been SO busy that I don’t know what end is up!

In the last five months, between Cody’s 45 auditions (which does not include callbacks, producer’s sessions, testing, booking and filming) his school, acting classes, and my full-time school, I am now bald.  I have pulled out all my hair!

Seriously, we’ve survived.  I was going to school full-time getting my master’s degree.  I finally realized that I no longer have the energy I had when I was 20 years old.  So just this past month, I changed my enrollment to half time.  Ironically, it got more busy for Cody with his auditions!  The Universe abhors a vacuum, and so filled the so-called free time! And for that I am thankful – it was filled with exactly what I had intended it to be filled with!

Some of the things I have learned over these past few months; regardless of how busy you become, you need to have a great support system.  In our case, my husband is still back in Florida working and taking care of the dog and the house and whatever else comes up.  His support while Cody and I are in Los Angeles is invaluable.  Other family members and friends have been wonderful support as well.

I spent more than twenty years in the Air Force, and was stationed overseas for two of my six assignments.  There was a comradarie being stationed overseas that you really can’t explain to those that have not experienced it.  Everyone is sacrificing life away from families (not necessarily kids and spouses, but sometimes–but always parents and siblings).  Fellow strangers in uniform aren’t.  There is a comfort in “knowing” what the others in uniform are going through.  And when the holidays come, even though we cannot spend them the way we did for years at home when growing up, we come together and make and share new memories.

When Cody and I arrived in Los Angeles in April of 2010 (barely over a year now), I looked at it like another temporary duty assignment in the military (except we were funding it!).  I was leaving my husband behind, but also with his support, was excited for the beginning of a new life being the mom of a child actor.  It’s interesting listening to the “naysayers” that like to claim “you’re exploiting your children for the sake of the almighty dollar” or whatever other reason they choose.  I have a son who, since he was 8 years old has said “mom, I want to be an actor” with a focus that I rarely see ADULTS have.  How can a parent deny a child their dream when you have the means to make it happen?  We couldn’t – especially since he kept PROVING he was serious.  And he still does.  Oh yes, and the money he makes?  It’s his.  Not mine, not my husbands.  And anyone that has been in a business for themselves knows how fast the expenses will deplete actual gross earnings.

So getting back to the original question; Is being the mom of a child actor a full time job?  Well…I always hate hearing this answer, but believe it or not, it is oh so accurate.  IT DEPENDS ON WHAT THE GOALS ARE.  I know one mom who’s son was in a movie with mine.  She wants to raise a family with her husband and really doesn’t want to drive two plus hours to Los Angeles every time her oldest (of three) gets an audition.  I can’t say I blame her.  Cody is an only child.  I have already told him that I am not so sure I could do this if he had a sibling that wasn’t interested in the entertainment world.

As for us, Cody’s focus amazes me on a daily basis.  Friends and family tell me it is because of me he is so focused.  I will take some credit – I am trying to teach him what I know about focus and putting your goals in to writing.  But he’s only twelve years old, and while still very much a kid, he’s not only auditioning, he’s writing scripts (he’s got SUCH an active imagination!), and wants to direct and produce projects as well.  I already know, without a doubt, my son will be an integral part of the entertainment world for the rest of his life.  And I LOVE spending my days watching it unfold as I take him to auditions and meet such wonderful people.

Cody recently wrote down his goals (again).  I am most amazed that one of them are that he wants to be an Academy Award Winning Actor – and that he wants to act in that movie by his birthday this year (September 15th).  I don’t know if it will happen, but I don’t know that it won’t either.  And if it doesn’t happen by then, that doesn’t matter.  My mastermind group always says “change the date – don’t change the goal.”

YES, for me being the mom of a child actor IS a full time job.  I’m getting my master’s degree in Business Management, with the focus in Marketing.  I want to market the work he is doing to the right people.  After all, it seems the more he works, the more work he gets!

 

This is Cody's newest Post Card

This is the front side of his latest post card.  We mail these out to our mailing list – snail mail as well as email (depending on preference) to let people know what he’s been doing.

In this past week, he ended up with six auditions.  Two, one a voiceover, and one for a guest appearance on a TV show, we got “short notice” meaning after 5 pm, and they were to be filmed/recorded and emailed BEFORE the next morning.  He did outstanding, and the TV show video was sent to producers.  We don’t know anything further yet (after all, it is a holiday weekend!), but that’s ok.  One of his “auditions” was actually a callback/producer/director session.  He booked a supporting role in Hell & Mr. Fudge as the young Mr. Fudge.  He is very excited, and very thankful to the casting director, producers and director of the film for such a wonderful opportunity (and…who knows…this could be that film in his goal list!)

As for me, over these past few months, I have continued to meet parents – mostly mom’s – supporting their kids as well.  This is NOT an “over night” sensation pie-in-the-sky dream for any of our kids.  I have, once again, become a part of a comraderie of people that nothing has to be said, there is just a “knowing” in what we are all dealing with, but yet an excellent support system to become a part of.  I’ve “heard of” the “stage mom’s” (and really, you DON’T want to be one of them!) yet I have been fortunate enough to not have to deal with any of them.  Supposedly this is a competitive industry, yet I don’t see it that way.  Each child is different, no matter how many “look” alike – and each project is different.  This is a business for the producers, and they want to hire the ones that fit the best in their project that will make money for them.  In reality, they want every single kid to book the job, but they also know the job can only go to one.  And that’s the one with the right “fit” with the rest of the cast.  To me, that is not a competition.  Competition assumes you have control over an outcome.

I deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and often, because of it, I think that I am “not doing enough” in my life.  One of the biggest things I learned just this past five months is that I am raising an outstanding kid to the best of my ability and that requires me to “be there” as much as possible.  I look at my PTSD as a blessing actually, because it has also taught me to pay attention to what my limitations are, and focus on the priorities one day at a time.  As much as I want to “DO” whatever else comes to mind, for now, regardless of his goals and dreams, my 12-year-old son is my priority.  I realize that once he becomes an adult, while I will still be a part of his life, he will very much have a life of his own (believe it or not, he has also mapped out his college and life as an adult…WOW).

If you have something to add, or questions, feel free to add or ask questions!  Writing this blog is one of “MY” things I have chosen to have for ME, so I don’t go completely insane!

Valerie Sullivan
Mom to Cody Sullivan
http://www.imdb.me/CodySullivan
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cody-Sullivan/129844847070985
Valerie@ValerieSullivan.net